mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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