Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
