So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
