I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
