I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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