Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
