I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I am never drinking with the goths again.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
