Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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