you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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