i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
