Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
