Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
