Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
