Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
