Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
