Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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