So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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