Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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