you didnt know i had herpes?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
