Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
