I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize