on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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