You can't motorboat a personality
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
