it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
