So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
