ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just tell him i said nine months
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
