if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize