her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
