All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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