How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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