he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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