please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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