How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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