I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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