Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
