i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
