What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You took a bar mat shot.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize