Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
