Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
