come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
