My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
