After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
