So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
