Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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