you guys were way drunker than both of me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
should my penis look like a turkey
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize