Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm always down for nudity.
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