Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
