The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
