So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
