I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize