haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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