Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
