i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize