$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
