no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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