like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize