physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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