things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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