I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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