im drinking this country out of the recession.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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