Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize