i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
